he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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