um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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