tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Houston, we have a blender
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
