On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
