We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize