A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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