This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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