I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
