I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
