"it" just moved
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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