The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
