he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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