I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
