I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
