i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
