wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
