At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
