i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
