I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
