whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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