Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
