How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
