Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
