toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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