Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
