I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
