the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
