Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
