i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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