It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
