I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
are you so shy because you have an std?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
