She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
