I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
