R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
