in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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