your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
