maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
