I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
