Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
