I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
