whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
