Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
