The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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