My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm eating all of the evidence.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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