I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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