so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
