Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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