she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's always time for handjobs
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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