All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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