Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
