You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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