I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
