Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize