Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
