I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
