new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
