So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
