I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
